Dear Goldilocks,

You made my wallet ache last week. A full tank for you normally costs around $40 but last week you made me pay a painful $60.27.

Why the 27 cents, you ask? Mummy is silly, that’s why.

I always try to fill it up to .02 cents over so that I feel like I get .02 cents of petrol for free because we are in Australia where there are no pennies. Two cents and under means it rounds down; three cents and up means it goes up to five cents. I like to stop at $40.02 because I pay $40. As opposed to stopping at $40.03, which means I pay $40.05, making me feel like I was ROBBED of .02 cents worth of petrol. If I’m going to pay this much, or anything for that matter, for petrol, I want every drop of it to count, THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Unfortunately, if I miss the $60.02 mark as I often do because I am not thinking at 10 pm, which is when I fill up, I will just keep going to try and get to the next .02 cent mark. This makes no sense or is nonsense, even, because I am actually paying more money by trying to pay less money so that I can save five cents by getting two cents worth of free petrol that I am still paying for. On an unrelated note, THIS IS HOW I FAILED LOGIC, PROBABILITY AND VENN DIAGRAMS IN YEAR 10 MATHEMATICS AFTER SPENDING NIGHTS FIGHTING WITH MY MOTHER AND DAYS IN CLASS NOT UNDERSTANDING A WORD MY TEACHER SAID AND NO, I AM NOT BITTER ABOUT WASTING MY LIFE AWAY IN MATH CLASSES THAT HAVE, OBVIOUSLY, NOT DONE ME ANY GOOD.

I know it’s not your fault and that I should be thankful that you’re not a Hummer that costs me $100,000 a week in petrol. It’s also not your fault that you’re leaking exhaust (again) and therefore are not being as petrol efficient as you could be. My only excuse is that the leak sounds like a vibrant purring sound, and I kind of like it. Maybe if I get that fixed instead of trying to round up, down and around I would be less frustrated at the pump.

Love,

Devi